Fear of Failure
Until you can manage to get over this fear you will never hit the dizzy heights of business success or financial independence. Sure you may have some results and a little of what could have been, but you’ll never arrive where you should.
Problem with this one emotion is this, it’s all encompassing. I takes over and prevents you from doing the few things, the very things that will make the difference. It’s a massive elephant in the room, blocking doorways to prevent you getting to the other side of the house, getting to do the work you’ll come to love and people will love you for it.
It is the only thing that guarantees you won’t do the work, won’t implement the ideas won’t change the world, won’t call that client. List goes on I’m afraid. It is the one thing you most overcome if any is to change.
Just look around at the evidence. What has stopped you so far in your progress to start or build that new business, to introduce that new product and supporting services? Sure you’ll have a number of excuses to support you own emotion; money, partners, lack of vehicles – the list is endless. But they are just that, excuses.
The truth is you’re frightened of your wife or partner, what will they say. Frightened you will fall on your face and become a laughing stock, frightened it could all horribly wrong and then what? Disaster, you end up single fighting the ex through the courts for the last bit of equity in the house, because the bank took the rest. Your kids hate you for what you’ve done, your own parents ask why you made such a bad decision, staff think you are stupid.
This is real. The scenario above is worked out in your head every time you want to do something new, make some changes. None of them are real, just a load of chemical transactions going on in your head. Sure, deciding to become a lion tamer in an African Safari Park does carry some risks – but the decisions you make in your business rarely carry as much risk to life.
Your brain doesn’t see it like that. Which is why is gives you a million and one fears to mull over, to hopefully make you avoid the changes, the introduction of something new. Most often the fears are baseless and without any truth.
They should make you think about you can reduce any risk – betting the business on one product launch would be madness. But slowing ramping up a couple of new things and testing the water beforehand means you will reduce the risk – and this testing thing should provide you with all the information you need in order to KNOW that either will or won’t work.
Your customers, friends and family won’t know if you’ve made a fool of yourself. Honestly that are so worried about themselves they won’t even notice you and what you are doing. I promise you.
The problem you have is this. If you don’t defeat this false fear you’ll end up stuck. Stuck never knowing what could have been, what lies on the other side of the room. It will always be just out of reach, just beyond where you are today.
And, most of the time it’s a false fear. A tiny chemical reaction in your brain – a thought that will permanently hold you back, it’s a four ton elephant in the room. It’s immovable and refuses to leave.
Just know that when you shine a light on it, when you test it to find out if it’s true you’ll realise that it’s either true – there be real danger (lions etc) or false – go test and see what happens. Fact is, if you do nothing. If you give in to it. You’re dead. Nothing will change.
In five years time you’ll be in exactly the same situation; only slightly worse off because of inflation. You’ll be wondering about what could have , mithering about whatif.
Fear of failure is the one thing you need to get over before your life can start. It’s the thing that causes more damage than anything else and you’ll never be the person you could be until you deal with it.
Try this little exercise.
Go think about the last new thing you did. No matter how small, could be a new colour of lipstick, could be a first date, different type of shoes or suit. Think about the internal conversation in the lead up to the change. What was it saying to you?
I guarantee you it was negative, persuasive and unhelpful. Whereas you wanted it to be positive and balanced to help you make a decision.
The key is listening to that conversation, understanding that it’s just a load of chemicals bouncing around inside your brain and then thank it for it’s input and then go do.
Try it, you’ll thank me for it.